one of the most contentious things about the social networking sites is the friend/follower count. be honest… who has a friend with over a thousand friends and has thought to themselves “what the hell is wrong with me?”
some people like to pretend that they are happy with their 7 best friends on facebook and 3 followers on twitter but for us big-headed divas, this just will not do. not when, for just $450, you can have 10.000 followers on twitter. bargain! and for $397 you can buy 5000 fans and as they very sweetly point out on the website, that’s just $0.079 per fan. well worth it ,don’t you think?
i remember being horrified when i came across an automated friend adder for myspace but myspace sucks anyway, so what do you expect? these cheats take all the fun out of being an unpopular git. or having a band fan page that has been at a standstill for months. i love checking my stats and seeing them drop every week, don’t you? and being unrecognised for the blood, sweat and tears you put into promoting yourself is the whole point isn’t it? puts you firmly in your place when you attempt to compare yourself with the real celebs.
so i’ll go on blogging and tweeting into the ether, not caring if anyone is listening (apart from you lovely 5 readers here). back to nonsense blogging on our shiny new template….
ps anyone got $847 ?
for all of you who have not (yet) been tied to a chair and forced to watch this video, here’s your chance to roll your eyes at bad mathematics pretending to be the rolling stones on tour. it was made back in 2003, so methinks another one is due some time soon. i’m going to start bringing my video camera to gigs and ask you lovely people to film parts of the event. who knows, you might find yourself in a bm video next year. what more could you ask for?
in the meantime, here it is… the epic “don’t go down that road”
oh, and you might have noticed that there is a row of shiny buttons at the bottom of these posts. funnily enough, they are not just pretty decorations. you can click them and whoosh! you can effortlessly share our nonsense on facebook, twitter and whatnot.
the gig came and went way too fast and i have left it for a few days, as usual, to comment on it. i hate to write anything about what went down straight away. i’m usually too caught up in the emotion and adrenaline of the night to be coherent. i also don’t want to do an autopsy, as the title suggests, because it’s not particularly constructive to obsess over what could have been or should have been.
i’m happy about what we did and i think everyone who made it had fun and that’s what counts.
which brings me to my gripe…
why so few people ? our lovely friends and fans, who wade through hell and high water to get to many of our gigs (if not all, amazingly enough), are fabulous. i am still amazed by the strength of their support and i thank you for making it all worth it. other people had very good reasons why they couldn’t make it. and this rant is not about them.
what i am utterly pissed off about is that not one person came to after dark on the off chance of seeing a good band. i know we were competing against european music day (free concerts in virtually every main square in town) and it’s june and people are almost pathological about going inside in the summer but really…
is it too much to ask for a venue to actually advertise bands ? i don’t just mean us. i mean send out listings to magazines/newspapers/online. when i was touring years ago, our publicity department (one person) used to send out the press release and venues themselves would flood the city with advertising. isn’t it in the interests of the venue to get punters in? we do a pretty good job of selling ourselves about the place but i strongly believe that the reason why good bands fail here is because they are totally unsupported. venues judge you on who you can personally drag into your gig. i felt like saturday was a prime example. we were (probably) invited because it was a difficult night. if we’d got a big crowd there, we might have been given more saturdays in the future. right now, i think it’s more a case of “well, you didn’t get people there last time, so why should i put you on again. i’ll give you wednesday (a notoriously slow night).
i’m not asking for anything than i would expect any business person to do. it’s not like many venues are thriving! there are hardly any left.
but i don’t want to feel used. to fill in for your popular cover bands. or to bring in a few punters on a difficult night. or to be blamed for not succeeding, having worked hard to get a gig together.
i know we’re not cool. we’re not the next big five minute wonder. our music demands a little work on your part. you can’t just come to our gigs and have a few drinks, nod your head and feel like you had a brilliant night. we want to make you think. to listen to the words. to feel those moments when it feels like you’re going to fall off a cliff but somehow you don’t. but if you do, it’s into a thrilling freefall. our music is not for kids… or sheep.
having said that, we know how to have a fucking great time.
rant over for now.
we have to come up with new strategies. obviously free porn wasn’t enough to get people through the door… 😀
world cup mania is upon us once more and as you know (or not, as the case may be), the diva likes nothing more than a bit of armchair sporting mayhem. actually, i like a lot of things more but that’s another story. the internet is awash with predications and counter-predictions but the only opinion that really counts is right here.
so here’s my world cup round-up:
england and greece will make it out of their first round groups but will dismay their fans by not making out of the top 16. both sides will blame their loss on everyone but themselves.
cameroon will be the most cheerful of all the teams and there will be much music and dancing, even though they will be out early on.
one african team will make it through to the semi-finals. my money’s on south africa (home team advantage)
argentina will win.
these predictions have been extremely carefully, almost scientifically, worked out but i bear no responsibility for any bets you might place based on my in-depth knowledge of the beautiful game. whatever happens, it’ll be a spectacular event and one that i am looking forward to following over the next month. i am one of those particularly irritating of football fans who loves the game but isn’t particularly bothered about who wins. i will be cheering on cameroon though, because they have the loveliest fans and i love rigobert song’s hair.
if any one of my predictions comes true, you may buy me a drink. if all of them prove correct, you can buy all my readers and myself a drink (all three of us). see you in our usual “big sporting event” outside spot on the 11th july.
go cameroooooooooooooooooon !
my top ten tips for being in an unsigned, unappreciated, unpaid, unrepentant™ band
- take your music seriously but not yourselves
- don’t expect to make make money or become famous
- try out everyone’s ideas, however stupid they might seem to you at the time
- respect every members talent and contribution
- argue as much as you like but always kiss and make up
- love every single fan that you gain along the way
- accept advice from people but stick to your own convictions
- keep full control over your own music
- be professional when you play live (turn up on time, well-rehearsed and sober)
- if you don’t love what you’re doing, give it up
people dream of fame and fortune but the reality is very, very different. if you want to read more of my thoughts on this, go to the joy of playing. if you are one of the incredibly miniscule number of bands that gets a recording contract, all i can say is well done, good luck and don’t let it destroy your love of your music.
after the flurry of activity that went down a week or so ago, there has been a distinct lack of new words to appear on this blog. it’s my fault. i went into hibernation while my partner in crime buggered off to majorca for 10 days. it’s a funny thing, we’re so used to bouncing ideas off each other that when one of us is away, the other seems to become a creative wasteland. anyway, we’re back on track and will be investigating t-shirts and merchandise ideas this week. we had a very productive discussion with one of our dedicated fans (who’s a bit of a fashionista) and she’s given us other ideas of grandeur. more on that when we get our shit together…
we have another gig coming up fast and furious. we’ve been invited to play the babel festival on the 30th may. no further details at the moment because they are very disorganised (nothing new about that!). as soon as we know more, it’ll be posted here.
that’s all from me today. i’ll be back when i have more details or just to write a bit of nonsense for your reading pleasure (or not as the case may be)
back in the day, when we were a struggling band (unlike now as we are poised for world domination), we were grateful for any gigs we could get. whether paid or unpaid, halfway up a mountain or at the old deserted airport playing to three drunk italians. nowadays, we are much more fussy but one thing remains the same. we like playing to an audience. don’t get me wrong, i love our friends and die-hard fans of the band who trek through torrential rain, dodge burning buildings and miraculously recover from illnesses to come and see us. what i don’t love is that it’s almost impossible to get more than two or three new people in through the door to see you play.
why? [click below to read more of this rant]
it’s almost impossible to put into words, the events of the past two weeks. i have made a wonderful new friend and found a warm place in my extended family. to all those involved in the celebrations and surprises, i am so happy to have you all in my life. being a diva in my own lunchtime is one thing. being surrounded by love and appreciation is priceless. this will stay with me always.
but this blog isn’t all about me! what about the band?
here’s the gig in pictures
for a run-down of the evening, go to vishy’s words at the bad mathematics site
go and check out this blog from our friend bea. top tips for divas who hate housework (don’t all divas hate housework ?). it’s quite new but there is already some very funny stuff… looking forward to more from bea.
so we are well and truly back to earth. feet planted fairly firmly on the ground.
i was in the supermarket the day before yesterday and no-one recognised me. so there you go. i am now full of cold and feeling horribly ill.. not the sign of a superstar… but there you go again.
we are getting ready for the next gig. an acoustic set with various great people like the velvoids, the ducky boyz and all. all our friends. scary prospect. very exciting and can’t wait.
i am feeling much better about the last gig. it wasn’t our best but that’s ok. you can’t always be at your best. i’ve listened to the live tracks and they’re very serious. none of the fun of the last gig but with a dimension that we can play with.
we suffered from a lack of people. that is something that we try to avoid but it does affect you.
i’ve been told off already because i didn’t do enough local publicity. next time right ?
i am working on the blog. trying to raise our profile! if you have any ideas please let me know.
i am not going to be hard on myself or the band.
i refuse to be depressed because the gig was not our best ever.
i had a lot of fun and i think others did too.
i would have liked to have pulled a bigger audience but it wasn’t bad for a wednesday complete with transport strikes, blackouts and various other
problems usual situations in greece.
my designer top (which probably cost more than all my clothes put together), that was a gift from my brilliant friends, probably upstaged me. but that’s ok. it is gorgeous.
it was great to see all our friends and die-hard fans.
the velvoids were fabulous. and are the loveliest people. happy birthday dora.
thank you katerina for coming and taking photographs. i can’t wait to see them.
looking forward to the next gig.
more from me soon.
i just want to thank each and every one of you who came last night for making it a night to remember. i haven’t laughed so much on stage for a while now and i was reminded again about why we do it. get up on stage i mean…. i know why we laugh ! thank you peter for the heckling that will go down in history. thank you vice for the first (and hopefully not last) strip show that we have ever had at a live gig. thank you to everyone who danced, who clapped, who cheered, who begged us for more, who gave us hugs and love and wonderful words after the gig. thank you to nikos at after dark for recording the whole thing. and thank you (honestly and seriously) to all our friends who support us as much when we are crap as when we are good. and thank you to the people who couldn’t be there because of various bugs and ailments but still sent their best wishes and were there in spirit.
we had a hard time building up to the gig. i’ll be honest… i wasn’t looking forward to it at all. i am not going to go into details, it’s enough to say that i am proud of the way the band handled the difficulties and i am bursting with love for all of the bm members. i love you all and look forward to many more years of madness and mayhem.
to everyone who asked why the set was so short… it wasn’t what we wanted. we were asked to play 30-40 minutes and that (being bad mathematics) is what we did. but thank you to everyone who asked for more. next time….
today i went to the supermarket and although i was just a civilian again, i was walking at least 2cm above the ground.
strangly enough after yesterdays post about the holy rug, i left it at after dark. that’s what happens when you have too much fun ! so we have to go tonight to pick it up. vicky b is playing so it really won’t be a drag to get our bottoms down there, pick up the rug and (probably) stay and hear some great music. what a voice. I wish …
life is hard.