noise for the hard of hearing

the next gig is coming up fast so pop a note to yourself on whatever social networking/notepad/sticky note/fridge magnet that you happen to use and don’t forget:

friday 19th april at zero. doors open 9pm. it’s FREE to get in so no excuses…

be there…you know you want to.

songs for gay dogs

yesterday, i was cruising around facebook, feeling very grumpy that everyone seems to be on holiday and decided to write a post today about how social media is ruining my life. however, this morning vishy showed me a link to “the most ridiculous album covers of all time” at the huffington post and it restored my faith in the internet’s ability to enrich our existence. the record cover above had me giggling like a five year old. so i thought i’d get creative and come up with the first 5 album titles for bad mathematics:

1: tits and souvlaki

this came out of a very productive and silly meeting with major tom at our house. on his way in he picked up one of those sad leaflets that get thrown at your door on a regular basis. it was for a local kebab place and featured a very well-endowed girl who seemed to be riding a giant souvlaki. a fantastic failure of everything that is design but inspiration for the muddled mind of a diva.

2: cassi and her communist sisters

this is a long-standing joke between the members of the band. people always pick out the frontperson and assume that everyone else is hanging about in the background for effect and don’t actually do anything creative. nothing could be further from the truth in the case of bad mathematics but it does make a great title.

3: f#@&! s*&@$!?*!go** ?ki***

over the years, in our endless battle with language, we have developed a kind of nonsense gringlish half-witted vocabulary which we all sort of understand, although andreas is the master. he has the ability to reel off a diatribe at break-neck speed and then turn round and ask us what the hell he just said. fantastic.

4: pornography

one of the most popular bad mathematic’s songs, thanks in part (i suspect) to the title. we have never been known to shy away from controversy even going as far as making most of it up. so what the hell, let’s go straight for the censors with this one.

5: bad mathematics greatest hits or the best of bad mathematics

i think we should release this one first so that we can win the “tackiest band you’ve never heard of” award. how brilliant would that be ?

vote for your favorite title or come up with some of your own in the comments. surely you have nothing better to do on this fine tuesday…

tori amos – god

seeing as this is supposed to be a music blog, i’m posting some…. music!

go see it here

god, sometimes you just don’t come through
god, sometimes you just don’t come through
do you need a woman to look after you
god, sometimes you just don’t come through

i have a huge soft spot for tori amos. she’s talented, odd, unique and seriously underrated. all the stuff i like in an artist. she’s often categorised as “alternative” which means she’s consigned to the sidelines of the music machine but also means she’s free to do what the hell she likes.

when i dream of fame and fortune (which, of course, i have succeeded in achieving ;-)), i imagine being like ms. amos or bjork or pj harvey.

wild, wacky and wonderful.

important notice: time change

the gig gods have struck again. as you know, we have a gig tonight (at after dark) and the management™ produced the pornography poster. on that poster, it says “doors open 9.30pm”. however, unbeknownst to us, on saturdays the venue opens the doors at 10pm and the gig will not start until 12.

anyone planning to be there when the doors open are, of course, more than welcome to do so but be warned… there will be two hours before we get onstage.

to all you fashionably late, cool people, ignore this notice and come at your usual late hour.

to all you terribly uncool people like me, come along anyway and we’ll hang out.

see you later

cool to be uncool

apart from it being very cool to be uncool, here is another spectacular reason for you to make it to the gig tomorrow (saturday 19th june 2010 at after dark)…

it will be air-conditioned heaven and a welcome relief from the heatwave that has descended on greece. i know, i know… you’re currently flopping about at home, sweating like a world cup footballer and thinking that you will never be able to move more than two inches away from your fan and that bucket of ice-cubes. the good news is that, in the interests of doing our bit for global warming, the venue we are playing at is deliciously cold. last time we played there in the summer, i actually had to ask them to turn the air-conditioning down a bit because i was freezing my tits off.

as with all bad mathematics gigs, we are battling against various factors to get people through the doors tomorrow. a heatwave, the effing football and now we find out that it’s the european music weekend, with free concerts all over the city in local squares.

no wonder we were invited to play! we’re probably the only band in athens that can guarantee a gaggle of hard-drinking, rowdy wasters, even when confronted by this tidal wave of alternative events.

so let’s prove that we have pulling power, my adorable readers (all three of you now!). on with the bikinis (suggestions for boys over here. warning: not for the faint-hearted) and head down to after dark… where the drinks are cool and the music is cooler (in an uncool kind of way).


there has been much chatter and nonsense, on our facebook pages and here on the blog, about pornography, nakedness and general ill-behaviour in the bad mathematics empire. i would just like to make it clear that while some of this activity might be permissible and actually enjoyable in the privacy of one’s home, it is not something that is encouraged or participated in by myself. as i have noted in the past couple of weeks, the management™ had to employ a certain ms. slut to participate in their “artwork” because they knew i wouldn’t.

and now there is talk of nakedness on stage and even amongst some potential audience members. let me be clear… if clothing is removed at the gig (saturday 19th june at after dark), i will remove myself from the stage.

i hear you all screaming “prude” but i have my reasons. i refuse to be upstaged by a heaving mass of naked loveliness. what chance do i have to be looked at and adored if everyone ‘s attention is on our gorgeous fans ?

so, come to the gig (we will be partying until late with dj.kosta). and keep your clothes on until you get home.

the only naked things allowed at our gigs are my feet.

thank you.

chefs and musicians

not many of you will know this about me but i’m utterly addicted to celebrity cooking shows. i could watch hours of top chef, top chef masters, hells kitchen, the f word, no reservations, jamie’s kitchen, conviction kitchen, iron chef, kitchen nightmares… etc etc etc. i’ve even been known to watch rachael ray and emeril. i also follow quite a few celeb chefs on twitter.

now before you say “what a sad bugger”, let me attempt an explanation of my ever-growing fascination with chefs. what strikes me (and has been commented on many times) are the similarities between cooking and making music. Many top chefs admit to an obsession with music and quite a few dabble on the other side in their spare time. for example, hubert keller is a dj, rocco dispirito is an avid guitar player, jamie oliver is a half-decent drummer, johnny ciao worked in the music industry for 20 years before becoming a chef, ainsley harriot was a musician of sorts, marco pierre white looks and acts like a rock star and of course, jerome “chef” mcelroy (south park) is isaac hayes.

i am fascinated by the art of cooking. the creative process. the way each individual chef can take the same ingredients and come up with an entirely different result. i am fascinated by the fact that everyday, sometimes mundane, observations can influence a dish. food critics often take the joy and fun out of eating by talking about “flavour profiles” and “palettes”, in much the same way as music critics take the joy out of music by talking in pretentious terms.

so here’s my top 10 similarities between chefs and musicians

  1. we have to practice and often experiment on friends
  2. we put a bunch of known stuff (ingredients/notes) together in different ways to make something new
  3. we often get it wrong
  4. technique counts for a lot but passion makes the difference
  5. we tend to be egotistical, obsessed and are given to swearing a lot
  6. we love what we do even when no-one is watching
  7. fame can ruin us
  8. we care about presentation
  9. we both tend to over-indulge in the alcohol department
  10. we tend to be fairly vocal about fellow musicians/chefs that we dislike

if you can think of more, i’d love to hear them in the comments.

i don’t have much in the way of “knife skills” at the moment and most ingredients that i see being used on these shows are either hideously expensive or impossible to find in greece but who knows… perhaps i’ll become the diva cook if being in a band doesn’t work out.

right… off to watch iron chef

cadillac records

i watched cadillac records (2009) last night and was moved and inspired by its portrayal of the rise of chess records in chicago. the film centres on the transition from sharecropper music, “race music” and blues to cross-over and rock and roll. the reviews were mixed and many completely missed the point of the film. it’s not a documentary. it’s a film that paints a broad picture of that time in music history. it’s about segregation. about a time when black musicians changed the face of music and were unrecognised for it until, sometimes decades, later. about white artists/record industry folks taking or stealing that creativity and becoming rich and famous in the process.

the music is astounding. the studio scenes, where leonard chess changed the way the music was recorded, are incredible. the film captures the intense pain and suffering experienced by such greats as muddy waters, little walter, howlin’ wolf, etta james and chuck berry. how that pain translated into brilliance. how they didn’t just play the blues, they lived it. they were the blues.

the credit for the birth of rock and roll lies very firmly with these musicians and countless others (many that remain unknown). there will never be another time like this and it’s essential that we know about it. that the next generations know about it. it’s scary that young people have never heard of some of these artists and how ignorant they are of anything outside the mainstream charts.

you don’t have to like the blues but you have to know about it.
watch this film with your eyes on the bigger picture.
and your heart in the right place.

the poet

as you know, we are a band of many talents (!*@$!) but you may not know that our own adorable and amazing guitarist, andreas, is a poet. in fact, his surreal poetry was the influence behind the song metal bear. you can read his two published collections at his own blog entegma (in greek). the first book is called καθισμενος and the second is επτάψυχη μεταλλική αρκούδα (choose from the drop-down menus under the titles).

there is talk of a third book and i am hoping that we can add this to the goodies that will be available to buy on the bad mathematics shopping site sometime in the future.

for now, hop over to the site and have a look around. for all you ancient greek history buffs, there are also articles about the underground bands that michalis and andreas were involved in before bad mathematics (παρανyχiδες and gobidibu).

dark and dangerous stuff.