buy a friend

one of the most contentious things about the social networking sites is the friend/follower count. be honest… who has a friend with over a thousand friends and has thought to themselves “what the hell is wrong with me?”

some people like to pretend that they are happy with their 7 best friends on facebook and 3 followers on twitter but for us big-headed divas, this just will not do. not when, for just $450, you can have 10.000 followers on twitter. bargain! and for $397 you can buy 5000 fans and as they very sweetly point out on the website, that’s just $0.079 per fan. well worth it ,don’t you think?

i remember being horrified when i came across an automated friend adder for myspace but myspace sucks anyway, so what do you expect? these cheats take all the fun out of being an unpopular git. or having a band fan page that has been at a standstill for months. i love checking my stats and seeing them drop every week, don’t you? and being unrecognised for the blood, sweat and tears you put into promoting yourself is the whole point isn’t it? puts you firmly in your place when you attempt to compare yourself with the real celebs.

so i’ll go on blogging and tweeting into the ether, not caring if anyone is listening (apart from you lovely 5 readers here). back to nonsense blogging on our shiny new template….

ps anyone got $847 ?

put this in your pipe

it’s hard enough to get people to come to your blog and read your ramblings on a regular basis (thank you dear six (!) readers), let alone to get them to explore your sidebar. now, before you get all hot under the collar, i’m talking about that column on the left hand side of the page that has lots of links in it. because i have no witty nonsense i feel like writing today, i thought i’d hand it over to fellow bloggers to tickle your funny bone. under “funnies” (imaginative title right?) you’ll find blogs that make me laugh. i was going to say “perhaps you will too” but in some ways i hope you don’t because that would make you as silly as me. ah well, here goes…

cake wrecks
if you like cakes and you hate bad spelling, you’ll love this blog. everything from creepy dolls to chocolate penises. there seems to be no end of amusement to be had from people’s sweet disasters.

funny not slutty
if you want to know how to “how to vajazzle your vajayjay” or why “skinny women should shut up about their weight“, go and read these funny women.

how not to act old
another woman after my own heart. a huge lists of don’ts for the mature reader. things like “don’t take pictures of your freaking flowers“, don’t admit you’re befuddled by twitter, tiVo, texting — most of technology” and “stop covering up your underwear“. i giggle a lot at this stuff. probably means i’m old.

hyperbole and a half

A lingering fear of mine was confirmed last night: My dog might be slightly retarded.

another female blogger! i’m beginning to see a bias in this list. this site is not only witty but has brilliant cartoons drawn by the writer herself. check out “dog“, 7 games you can play with a brick” and “this is why i’ll never be an adult“. love it.

aha! the first man on the list! his blog is more amusing observations on life as a dad rather than outright giggles but well worth a read.

Maybe kids do really mature faster these days but whenever I think about this story, I recall being 5 years old and having a crush on my neighbor Brina. Maybe I was just a socially retarded dork back then because the only way I expressed my feelings for her were by pulling her pigtails and pushing her in the mud!

shit my kids ruined
it’s exactly as the title suggests. from fun with tampons to dodgy eyebrow “art”, this blog has me rolling my eyes every time i visit. i just wish i’d taken pictures of the crackers in the vcr (yes, i’m that old!).

how to describe oatmeal? i just find it funny. especially the titles. there are lots of list/top ten type articles including “6 reasons to ride a polar bear to work“, “8 ways to tell if your loved ones plan to eat you” and “10 reasons to avoid talking on the phone“. and the cartoons are great too.

the onion
if you don’t know the onion, you really should. it’s hilarious. brilliantly made news satire that will make you wet yourself. especially if you’re old mature like me.

the problem with young people today is…
i’m seeing another pattern developing in this list! this one is a good old series of rants and moans by crabby old fart. his bio reads:

This is me. Name’s Don.

I don’t care much for young people and I’m not too sure how I feel about you.

Thanks for visiting.

some of my favourite titles are:

  • they eat like pigs
  • they drink sissy drinks
  • they dance like idiots
  • they all have disorders
  • they pee too much
  • they mumble all the time
  • they’re too tall

the complete list is in the right sidebar. just go and click on the links…

that should be enough nonsense to keep you going for the day. compiling this list has made me realise that i must do some more searching for a bit of brit blog humour. anyone got any links?

see you tomorrow…

shiny new blog

so we’ve changed the look of the blog to incorporate our new found business heads. it’s cleaner, leaner and a tad more mature than the old one. our lunatic lovely webmaster vishy, has made buttons and bells to link to our vast array of sites all over the internet. he’s made the rather childish and sometimes downright awful logos of facebook, twitter and youtube, look rather swanky I think. i have a fresh glow of geekness about my person and i’m looking forward to getting down to just blogging my nonsense on a more regular basis.

we are off on wednesday or thursday to look at prices for t-shirts and the cost of making the silk screens. all is buzzing in the bad mathematics camp. i’m off to get my beauty sleep as every diva should…

the women are taking over

most of the big music blogs are written by men. that is true. actually most of the big blogs in general are written by men. here is a big list of music blogs written by women. watch out boys, there are some big bad female voices out there…

go and check out this list from bon ton.

This is my attempt to list women who write music blogs [I went ahead and added myself to it in case anyone is copying this down]. If you are female and you write for a music blog, drop a comment! The Polite World is so much larger than I can navigate, but I want to add you to the list. [And if I put you on here by mistake and you’re not female… please enlighten me.]

overflowing with comments

we’ve had 11 comments on this blog so far! we also had 71 views so far this week, 14 of them today!
that’s great! i know i complain all the time but i am chuffed. thank you dearest reader for following my scratchings.

just showing off. that’s all.

over and out.

new gig new poster

our almighty webmaster (!) has made the poster for the next show. he slaved away for at least 10 minutes and produced the piece of rubbish you see below. what are we going to do with him ? we have to find ourselves a decent designer.

photography & design: Vishy Moghan © 2007

[i was joking! he is wonderful. thank you mr webmaster/chief designer/bass player type person. you’re the best.]

that didn't work

what does a girl have to do to get a comment on this blog ? i guess i’m going to have to post naked pictures of the band here. just kidding i wouldn’t inflict that on you, dearest reader.

i got a haircut a couple of day ago. now that’s news !

thanks guys

for all your kind words and thoughts and best wishes…
oh well, a girl can hope can’t she ?
myspace is really crap for blogging. it’s all about making “friends”. don’t get me wrong. that’s good too but it would be good to speak to each other too…

write a comment

so we are back in our “studio” every friday messing about and coming up with some good stuff (we think so anyway). trying to organise a gig possibly at the an club where, despite the terrible sound and disgusting weather on our first appearance there, we got a good crowd and the response was great. we will let you know as soon as we do !

on a personal note, i’m just waiting for my third comment on this blog…. come on people, say hello, tell us how much you love us (or wish we would go away as the case may be) i’m not doing this for my benefit. well, i am but that’s not the point…

looking forward to a flood of comments. i won’t hold my breath though…

happity crimble

1 comment so far and 30 something posts. so by mid march we should have two comments on our blog… cool.

hey, whatever, we are rock people. we can take the rough with the smooth. myspace is a bit odd for that though. lots of friends and no bloggers ? better than being johnny no mates all over again.
i don’t know how much i will be here over the christmas thingy break thingy, so wishing you all a good time. and see you in the new year.

knowing me i will probably post in the meantime but … for those on extended breaks and hols and those who just don’t care… happy christmas.