bad mathematics, us, the band, we talk a lot… about where and when we want to play, about who we want to play with, about the size of the audience, about how we should present ourselves, about… stuff. band stuff. we are in many ways like teenagers looking for and procrastinating about the possibility of a date. (let’s say it like it is), the possibility of sex.
is performing live like sex ? well…. in some ways, yes. it is. there’s the negotiation. the when, where and how. there’s the preparation. what should i wear ? what songs/moves are we going to do ? there’s the rehearsals, done without an audience, fraught with anxiety and doubt. and there’s the dawning of the big day. the nerves, the stomach aches, the phone calls and the point where you can’t back out (however much you’d like to)
and then you’re there. in the venue. panic and mayhem going on but somewhere, there’s this calm, cool voice saying this is what you wanted so you just have to take a deep breath and go for it.
the first notes drift uncertainly over the babble of the crowd and attention shifts to you. you who have exposed yourself to the possibility of reaching for something out of the ordinary. and there you are, naked, vulnerable and with nothing to fall back on apart from yourself. no one can rescue you. no one can save you.
and when it goes badly, it’s horrible. there may be words of encouragement and commiseration but you know it was bad. and nothing can turn back the clock and make it right.
but when it’s good, it’s like nothing else. you want to be there for always. in that moment. when you are right there, on top of the world. and you love the whole world and everyone loves you.
yes, it’s like sex and we wanna do it again. very, very soon.
we’re talking about the next gig and the possibilities are coming together. we’ll keep you posted…
over and out