for all of you who have not (yet) been tied to a chair and forced to watch this video, here’s your chance to roll your eyes at bad mathematics pretending to be the rolling stones on tour. it was made back in 2003, so methinks another one is due some time soon. i’m going to start bringing my video camera to gigs and ask you lovely people to film parts of the event. who knows, you might find yourself in a bm video next year. what more could you ask for?
in the meantime, here it is… the epic “don’t go down that road”
oh, and you might have noticed that there is a row of shiny buttons at the bottom of these posts. funnily enough, they are not just pretty decorations. you can click them and whoosh! you can effortlessly share our nonsense on facebook, twitter and whatnot.
the gig came and went way too fast and i have left it for a few days, as usual, to comment on it. i hate to write anything about what went down straight away. i’m usually too caught up in the emotion and adrenaline of the night to be coherent. i also don’t want to do an autopsy, as the title suggests, because it’s not particularly constructive to obsess over what could have been or should have been.
i’m happy about what we did and i think everyone who made it had fun and that’s what counts.
which brings me to my gripe…
why so few people ? our lovely friends and fans, who wade through hell and high water to get to many of our gigs (if not all, amazingly enough), are fabulous. i am still amazed by the strength of their support and i thank you for making it all worth it. other people had very good reasons why they couldn’t make it. and this rant is not about them.
what i am utterly pissed off about is that not one person came to after dark on the off chance of seeing a good band. i know we were competing against european music day (free concerts in virtually every main square in town) and it’s june and people are almost pathological about going inside in the summer but really…
is it too much to ask for a venue to actually advertise bands ? i don’t just mean us. i mean send out listings to magazines/newspapers/online. when i was touring years ago, our publicity department (one person) used to send out the press release and venues themselves would flood the city with advertising. isn’t it in the interests of the venue to get punters in? we do a pretty good job of selling ourselves about the place but i strongly believe that the reason why good bands fail here is because they are totally unsupported. venues judge you on who you can personally drag into your gig. i felt like saturday was a prime example. we were (probably) invited because it was a difficult night. if we’d got a big crowd there, we might have been given more saturdays in the future. right now, i think it’s more a case of “well, you didn’t get people there last time, so why should i put you on again. i’ll give you wednesday (a notoriously slow night).
i’m not asking for anything than i would expect any business person to do. it’s not like many venues are thriving! there are hardly any left.
but i don’t want to feel used. to fill in for your popular cover bands. or to bring in a few punters on a difficult night. or to be blamed for not succeeding, having worked hard to get a gig together.
i know we’re not cool. we’re not the next big five minute wonder. our music demands a little work on your part. you can’t just come to our gigs and have a few drinks, nod your head and feel like you had a brilliant night. we want to make you think. to listen to the words. to feel those moments when it feels like you’re going to fall off a cliff but somehow you don’t. but if you do, it’s into a thrilling freefall. our music is not for kids… or sheep.
having said that, we know how to have a fucking great time.
rant over for now.
we have to come up with new strategies. obviously free porn wasn’t enough to get people through the door… 😀
the gig gods have struck again. as you know, we have a gig tonight (at after dark) and the management™ produced the pornography poster. on that poster, it says “doors open 9.30pm”. however, unbeknownst to us, on saturdays the venue opens the doors at 10pm and the gig will not start until 12.
anyone planning to be there when the doors open are, of course, more than welcome to do so but be warned… there will be two hours before we get onstage.
to all you fashionably late, cool people, ignore this notice and come at your usual late hour.
to all you terribly uncool people like me, come along anyway and we’ll hang out.
see you later
apart from it being very cool to be uncool, here is another spectacular reason for you to make it to the gig tomorrow (saturday 19th june 2010 at after dark)…
it will be air-conditioned heaven and a welcome relief from the heatwave that has descended on greece. i know, i know… you’re currently flopping about at home, sweating like a world cup footballer and thinking that you will never be able to move more than two inches away from your fan and that bucket of ice-cubes. the good news is that, in the interests of doing our bit for global warming, the venue we are playing at is deliciously cold. last time we played there in the summer, i actually had to ask them to turn the air-conditioning down a bit because i was freezing my tits off.
as with all bad mathematics gigs, we are battling against various factors to get people through the doors tomorrow. a heatwave, the effing football and now we find out that it’s the european music weekend, with free concerts all over the city in local squares.
no wonder we were invited to play! we’re probably the only band in athens that can guarantee a gaggle of hard-drinking, rowdy wasters, even when confronted by this tidal wave of alternative events.
so let’s prove that we have pulling power, my adorable readers (all three of you now!). on with the bikinis (suggestions for boys over here. warning: not for the faint-hearted) and head down to after dark… where the drinks are cool and the music is cooler (in an uncool kind of way).
there has been much chatter and nonsense, on our facebook pages and here on the blog, about pornography, nakedness and general ill-behaviour in the bad mathematics empire. i would just like to make it clear that while some of this activity might be permissible and actually enjoyable in the privacy of one’s home, it is not something that is encouraged or participated in by myself. as i have noted in the past couple of weeks, the management™ had to employ a certain ms. slut to participate in their “artwork” because they knew i wouldn’t.
and now there is talk of nakedness on stage and even amongst some potential audience members. let me be clear… if clothing is removed at the gig (saturday 19th june at after dark), i will remove myself from the stage.
i hear you all screaming “prude” but i have my reasons. i refuse to be upstaged by a heaving mass of naked loveliness. what chance do i have to be looked at and adored if everyone ‘s attention is on our gorgeous fans ?
so, come to the gig (we will be partying until late with dj.kosta). and keep your clothes on until you get home.
the only naked things allowed at our gigs are my feet.
the other night, after a “bridge-mending” meeting with our deranged delicious bass player vishy, we sat down with one of this blogs two readers for food and frolics. the conversation was surprisingly food-centred for much of the evening and naturally, the topic of edible insects arose. after a lightening quick search of google, vishy found a site that sells these bizarre snacks.
aside: what did we do before google? how would we have ever wasted time looking up such nonsense ? how would we have ever found these little critters ?
now i don’t know about you, but i think that the eating of creepy crawlies is best left to faded seventies celebrities and reality show contestants. i am not the least bit tempted or fooled by the toffee or chocolate coverings… it’s still a bloody scorpion/worm/spider/ant !
and the blurb is totally unconvincing. for bbq flavour worm crisps, the insane intelligent people at lazybone write:
These tasty little snacks are oven baked not fried! The worms are farm raised specially for human consumption and are fed on a diet of select grains and cereals. There is approximately 15 worms per bag, they taste very similar to toasted popcorn and are seasoned with BBQ.
oh well, that’s alright then… tastes a bit like popcorn. and they are probably treated humanely before they get shoved into the oven. i suppose it’s a better end than being eaten by a six-year old boy. remember this ? (there are lots of version but this is the one i remember)
nobody loves me
everybody hates me
i think I’ll go and eat worms
short, fat, juicy ones
long, skinny, wiggly ones
watch as they wriggle and squirm.
first you bite their heads off
then you suck their guts out
then you throw the skins away.
nobody knows how well you grow
on thirty-five worms a day.
i’ve been known to try a few food items that one could think of as a bit dodgy. testicles, kangaroo, sea urchins (the first and last being absolutely disgusting). but i draw the line at things that lurk in dark corners of my house… and worms.
enough of this, there’s a gig to prepare for ! vocal exercises to perform, an outfit to prepare, a playlist to work out. oh, and i guess we’ll squeeze in a couple of rehearsals.
see you both on saturday the 19th june at after dark in the centre of town at 31 didotou and ippokratous.
no excuses. it’s air-conditioned so you won’t melt.
and it’s the last gig of the season.
our very rude talented webmaster and design guru has created this poster for the next gig (saturday 19th june at after dark). i just want to make it clear that i was not involved in the creation of this piece of filth, in any way, shape or form. my lawyers have been consulted (i’ve been seing quite a lot of them over the past few weeks) and they say that linking our good name to cheap smut is unacceptable and they will be having sharp words with the management ™. it is rather worrying though that they both seemed to have odd smiles on their faces and one of them was drooling slightly.
i am trying to find out who the tart girl in the picture is. it’s definitely not me but she obviously had the audacity to wear my shoes at the photo shoot ! the cheek of it. she will never work in this town again when i’ve finished with her.
this is not the first time our publicity department has used sex to sell a show. “sex sells” was the title of one gig, if you can believe that ? while i understand that in the banal world of advertising, this may be true, i am not happy being part of this seedy venture. i admit, there is some blame that can be placed on me for putting “slut” in the title of one of my posts but that was a creative and artistic decision as opposed to downright seediness. we are already getting hits from sweaty fourteen year old boys searching for pornography on the internet. the shame of it all.
it seems that some people will stop at nothing to get the punters in. i agree that it would be fantastic to play to a packed house at after dark (saturday 19th june) but at what cost ? our dignity and integrity is under threat, dear readers. i propose that everyone who objects to this dumbing down of bad mathematics, makes their way to the gig and confronts the management ™. please wait until after the show to do this… you know how sensitive we artists can be.
so, come and support the diva in her efforts to bring good old-fashioned, clean fun to the music scene.
you know you want to…..
after the flurry of activity that went down a week or so ago, there has been a distinct lack of new words to appear on this blog. it’s my fault. i went into hibernation while my partner in crime buggered off to majorca for 10 days. it’s a funny thing, we’re so used to bouncing ideas off each other that when one of us is away, the other seems to become a creative wasteland. anyway, we’re back on track and will be investigating t-shirts and merchandise ideas this week. we had a very productive discussion with one of our dedicated fans (who’s a bit of a fashionista) and she’s given us other ideas of grandeur. more on that when we get our shit together…
we have another gig coming up fast and furious. we’ve been invited to play the babel festival on the 30th may. no further details at the moment because they are very disorganised (nothing new about that!). as soon as we know more, it’ll be posted here.
that’s all from me today. i’ll be back when i have more details or just to write a bit of nonsense for your reading pleasure (or not as the case may be)
it’s almost impossible to put into words, the events of the past two weeks. i have made a wonderful new friend and found a warm place in my extended family. to all those involved in the celebrations and surprises, i am so happy to have you all in my life. being a diva in my own lunchtime is one thing. being surrounded by love and appreciation is priceless. this will stay with me always.
but this blog isn’t all about me! what about the band?
here’s the gig in pictures
for a run-down of the evening, go to vishy’s words at the bad mathematics site