noise for the hard of hearing

the next gig is coming up fast so pop a note to yourself on whatever social networking/notepad/sticky note/fridge magnet that you happen to use and don’t forget:

friday 19th april at zero. doors open 9pm. it’s FREE to get in so no excuses…

be there…you know you want to.

autopsy of a gig


the gig came and went way too fast and i have left it for a few days, as usual, to comment on it. i hate to write anything about what went down straight away. i’m usually too caught up in the emotion and adrenaline of the night to be coherent. i also don’t want to do an autopsy, as the title suggests, because it’s not particularly constructive to obsess over what could have been or should have been.

i’m happy about what we did and i think everyone who made it had fun and that’s what counts.

which brings me to my gripe…

why so few people ? our lovely friends and fans, who wade through hell and high water to get to many of our gigs (if not all, amazingly enough), are fabulous. i am still amazed by the strength of their support and i thank you for making it all worth it. other people had very good reasons why they couldn’t make it. and this rant is not about them.

what i am utterly pissed off about is that not one person came to after dark on the off chance of seeing a good band. i know we were competing against european music day (free concerts in virtually every main square in town) and it’s june and people are almost pathological about going inside in the summer but really…

is it too much to ask for a venue to actually advertise bands ? i don’t just mean us. i mean send out listings to magazines/newspapers/online. when i was touring years ago, our publicity department (one person) used to send out the press release and venues themselves would flood the city with advertising. isn’t it in the interests of the venue to get punters in? we do a pretty good job of selling ourselves about the place but i strongly believe that the reason why good bands fail here is because they are totally unsupported. venues judge you on who you can personally drag into your gig. i felt like saturday was a prime example. we were (probably) invited because it was a difficult night. if we’d got a big crowd there, we might have been given more saturdays in the future. right now, i think it’s more a case of “well, you didn’t get people there last time, so why should i put you on again. i’ll give you wednesday (a notoriously slow night).

i’m not asking for anything than i would expect any business person to do. it’s not like many venues are thriving! there are hardly any left.

but i don’t want to feel used. to fill in for your popular cover bands. or to bring in a few punters on a difficult night. or to be blamed for not succeeding, having worked hard to get a gig together.

i know we’re not cool. we’re not the next big five minute wonder. our music demands a little work on your part. you can’t just come to our gigs and have a few drinks, nod your head and feel like you had a brilliant night. we want to make you think. to listen to the words. to feel those moments when it feels like you’re going to fall off a cliff but somehow you don’t. but if you do, it’s into a thrilling freefall. our music is not for kids… or sheep.

having said that, we know how to have a fucking great time.

rant over for now.

we have to come up with new strategies. obviously free porn wasn’t enough to get people through the door… 😀

pornography

Bad Mathematics | PORNOGRAPHY

our very rude talented webmaster and design guru has created this poster for the next gig (saturday 19th june at after dark). i just want to make it clear that i was not involved in the creation of this piece of filth, in any way, shape or form. my lawyers have been consulted (i’ve been seing quite a lot of them over the past few weeks) and they say that linking our good name to cheap smut is unacceptable and they will be having sharp words with the management â„¢. it is rather worrying though that they both seemed to have odd smiles on their faces and one of them was drooling slightly.

i am trying to find out who the tart girl in the picture is. it’s definitely not me but she obviously had the audacity to wear my shoes at the photo shoot ! the cheek of it. she will never work in this town again when i’ve finished with her.

this is not the first time our publicity department has used sex to sell a show. “sex sells” was the title of one gig, if you can believe that ? while i understand that in the banal world of advertising, this may be true, i am not happy being part of this seedy venture. i admit, there is some blame that can be placed on me for putting “slut” in the title of one of my posts but that was a creative and artistic decision as opposed to downright seediness. we are already getting hits from sweaty fourteen year old boys searching for pornography on the internet. the shame of it all.

it seems that some people will stop at nothing to get the punters in. i agree that it would be fantastic to play to a packed house at after dark (saturday 19th june) but at what cost ? our dignity and integrity is under threat, dear readers. i propose that everyone who objects to this dumbing down of bad mathematics, makes their way to the gig and confronts the management â„¢. please wait until after the show to do this… you know how sensitive we artists can be.

so, come and support the diva in her efforts to bring good old-fashioned, clean fun to the music scene.

you know you want to…..

creative juices

after the flurry of activity that went down a week or so ago, there has been a distinct lack of new words to appear on this blog. it’s my fault. i went into hibernation while my partner in crime buggered off to majorca for 10 days. it’s a funny thing, we’re so used to bouncing ideas off each other that when one of us is away, the other seems to become a creative wasteland. anyway, we’re back on track and will be investigating t-shirts and merchandise ideas this week. we had a very productive discussion with one of our dedicated fans (who’s a bit of a fashionista) and she’s given us other ideas of grandeur. more on that when we get our shit together…

we have another gig coming up fast and furious. we’ve been invited to play the babel festival on the 30th may. no further details at the moment because they are very disorganised (nothing new about that!). as soon as we know more, it’ll be posted here.

that’s all from me today. i’ll be back when i have more details or just to write a bit of nonsense for your reading pleasure (or not as the case may be)

back online

we “suffered” three days without the internet and survived.

the gig is coming up very fast, on tuesday to be exact. piers marsh (alabama 3) is working away furiously on some interesting stuff he’s going to be doing with us. he’s working on “shopping” at the moment. it’s odd to hear one of oldest tracks “remixed” by someone else. especially someone with such credentials! he will also be doing his own set on the night. looking forward to it and to seeing you there.

next gig

our next gig will be on thursday march 11th 2010 at after dark, athens, greece.

it’s been a while but we’ve been pretty busy working on new tracks and generally mucking about with the upright bass and our funky 8 track. it’s all looking and sounding very good for our first album. yes, you did read that correctly… first album. finally we got our shit together, lazy gits that we are.

so, come to the next gig for a preview of the album. we might not play all the tracks because we do like to keep everyone on their toes but you never know…we might.

gig gig gig !

dearest reader, i have neglected you for far too long. i was busy with the exhibition last week and this week i was just being too lazy to blog here. not very diva-like, is it ? so here i am again with the announcement of the next gig. on wednesday 4th june 2008, we will be playing at after dark. i know you know where it is but in case you have forgotten, it’s ippokratous and didotou 31, central athens.

you never know with us what will happen but one thing is for sure… it won’t be boring. don’t miss out on the mad jams, terrible jokes, the gut-churning mistakes, the never to be repeated moments of fabulous, the heckling, the strippers and the good old bone-shaking rock n roll that is bad mathematics.

look forward to seeing you all there… you know you want to !

More tomorrow including the very artistic poster from everyone’s favorite bass player and dictator webmaster. love you vishy.