the gig gods have struck again. as you know, we have a gig tonight (at after dark) and the management™ produced the pornography poster. on that poster, it says “doors open 9.30pm”. however, unbeknownst to us, on saturdays the venue opens the doors at 10pm and the gig will not start until 12.
anyone planning to be there when the doors open are, of course, more than welcome to do so but be warned… there will be two hours before we get onstage.
to all you fashionably late, cool people, ignore this notice and come at your usual late hour.
to all you terribly uncool people like me, come along anyway and we’ll hang out.
see you later
there has been much chatter and nonsense, on our facebook pages and here on the blog, about pornography, nakedness and general ill-behaviour in the bad mathematics empire. i would just like to make it clear that while some of this activity might be permissible and actually enjoyable in the privacy of one’s home, it is not something that is encouraged or participated in by myself. as i have noted in the past couple of weeks, the management™ had to employ a certain ms. slut to participate in their “artwork” because they knew i wouldn’t.
and now there is talk of nakedness on stage and even amongst some potential audience members. let me be clear… if clothing is removed at the gig (saturday 19th june at after dark), i will remove myself from the stage.
i hear you all screaming “prude” but i have my reasons. i refuse to be upstaged by a heaving mass of naked loveliness. what chance do i have to be looked at and adored if everyone ‘s attention is on our gorgeous fans ?
so, come to the gig (we will be partying until late with dj.kosta). and keep your clothes on until you get home.
the only naked things allowed at our gigs are my feet.
our very rude talented webmaster and design guru has created this poster for the next gig (saturday 19th june at after dark). i just want to make it clear that i was not involved in the creation of this piece of filth, in any way, shape or form. my lawyers have been consulted (i’ve been seing quite a lot of them over the past few weeks) and they say that linking our good name to cheap smut is unacceptable and they will be having sharp words with the management ™. it is rather worrying though that they both seemed to have odd smiles on their faces and one of them was drooling slightly.
i am trying to find out who the tart girl in the picture is. it’s definitely not me but she obviously had the audacity to wear my shoes at the photo shoot ! the cheek of it. she will never work in this town again when i’ve finished with her.
this is not the first time our publicity department has used sex to sell a show. “sex sells” was the title of one gig, if you can believe that ? while i understand that in the banal world of advertising, this may be true, i am not happy being part of this seedy venture. i admit, there is some blame that can be placed on me for putting “slut” in the title of one of my posts but that was a creative and artistic decision as opposed to downright seediness. we are already getting hits from sweaty fourteen year old boys searching for pornography on the internet. the shame of it all.
it seems that some people will stop at nothing to get the punters in. i agree that it would be fantastic to play to a packed house at after dark (saturday 19th june) but at what cost ? our dignity and integrity is under threat, dear readers. i propose that everyone who objects to this dumbing down of bad mathematics, makes their way to the gig and confronts the management ™. please wait until after the show to do this… you know how sensitive we artists can be.
so, come and support the diva in her efforts to bring good old-fashioned, clean fun to the music scene.
you know you want to…..
U2 have pulled out of the Glastonbury Festival and postponed their US tour after Bono had emergency surgery to save him from possible paralysis.
The singer, 50, had a back operation on Friday after suffering an injury while training in preparation for the tour.
Neurosurgeon Joerg Tonn said: “The surgery was the only course of treatment for full recovery and to avoid further paralysis.”
Bono, who must recuperate for the next two months, said he was “heartbroken”.
i was going to say “i know how you feel, mate” but that would seem a bit big-headed but in some small (but very diva-like) way, i do. when i was a wandering thespian, our company toured up and down merry england. one of the classic, another day, another city, kind of tours. on the day of a big premiere in london, i sprained my ankle. sounds pathetic but i was ordered not to perform for two weeks. did you know it takes longer to recover from a bad sprain than a fracture in some cases? the show i was in was a highly physical one that we trained for by running 5 miles in the morning, followed by a two hour physical training. anyway, our director had to stand in for me and i travelled with the company but was unable to perform. it was the most intensely frustrating and yes, heartbreaking time.
the desire to get up on stage is a strange and indescribable fish. it’s not as simple as people make out. that performers want to be loved (although that’s very nice too). it’s more like a need. like there’s nothing else you could possibly want to be doing other than that. nothing. the stage is where you are at your happiest. where you feel the most fear and overcome it. where you feel the most vulnerable. where you feel the greatest power you possess. it’s the greatest high that i have ever experienced. no amount of alcohol (drugs might be different… i don’t know) can make you feel like that.
so, although i haven’t been a fan of bono or u2 since their “war” album, they have my sympathy.
i know how you feel…
so piers marsh of alabama 3 is also the mountain of love and he’s playing in athens on tuesday… with us!
be there or be very, very sad
our next gig will be on thursday march 11th 2010 at after dark, athens, greece.
it’s been a while but we’ve been pretty busy working on new tracks and generally mucking about with the upright bass and our funky 8 track. it’s all looking and sounding very good for our first album. yes, you did read that correctly… first album. finally we got our shit together, lazy gits that we are.
so, come to the next gig for a preview of the album. we might not play all the tracks because we do like to keep everyone on their toes but you never know…we might.
so our bass player has lost the plot completely now. he has just bought an electric upright double bass thingy. it’s heavy and very tall and has a very swanky case. it also looks really, really cool. i predict that we will need heavier security at the next gig to stop people swarming the stage.
we are getting together tonight to try out this newest addition to the empire that is bad mathematics. it’ll be loud, exciting and probably very silly. our drummer is going away for a month after that so we will be having a break from gigging over the summer.
i will try and remember to write some miscellaneous nonsense here from time to time. in the meantime, be good, be bad or be silly… just make sure you do it to music.
the idea that bad mathematics are doing an acoustic set tomorrow is absurd. we are a big bad loud rocking band aren’t we ? but that’s exactly what we are going to do. we’ve been rehearsing unplugged in our living room and we’ve been doing some rarely heard pieces. it’s been fun and i am looking forward to trying something new tomorrow. we are going to attempt some improvisation too. live and proud. it’s a little scary but we have never been afraid of scary. i hope you will make it down to the small music theatre on friday and be part of a truly unique evening. these kind of events don’t come around very often.
next up for us is this exciting evening at the small music theatre in athens (33, veikou street, koukaki) on friday 4th april. vice lesley of the brilliant velvoids is organising this acoustic night in support of the venue. a great lineup of bands and musicians get together for a night of songs, jams and mayhem.
come down and support the best underground venue in athens. it’s only 3 euros so poverty is not an excuse. we are going to play a couple of obscure bm tracks. we haven’t decided exactly which ones yet but it’ll be fun anyway. we are intending to jam with some people and play on other people’s tracks.
it’s one of those rare evenings where you just don’t know what will happen. and whether it’s great, average or rubbish, you’ll be witness to a unique event.
you have to go to bios on friday. I don’t care if you have your mother-in law to stay or your house is on fire… the velvoids are playing and this is a “must not miss”
put it in your diary right now and be there. don’t forget… friday 28th march at bios. the velvoids with the flakes and modrec.
all the details are here