an apology

after one fruitless meeting with my lawyers (they’re were indeed suffering from hangovers after their bender the other night), they have informed me by telephone that it would be best if i wrote a full apology to the management™  for my (and i quote)

spurious and indefensible document

posted on this blog on the 6th june 2010 entitled “pornography“. i am, of course, extremely disappointed in the unimaginative path my lawyers have chosen to stumble down but what can i do ? as the short, hairy one said to me “the management™  ‘as big balls that you don’t wanna mess wiv”. he’s not very bright, poor boy. so here is my reluctant response to the legal tangle i find myself trapped in:

to the management™

i am somewhat alarmed at your reaction to my innocent (and rather amusing) blog post of the 6th june 2010. i am sorry that you did not take it in the spirit it was intended. i admit that i was surprised by your decision to use another girl for the poster. i have grown accustomed to being the only female involved in the band and was rather upset that you allowed her to wear my shoes. i have since been convinced that ms. slut has no plans to replace me as the singer of bad mathematics and have been assured that she is, in fact, tone deaf.

i will convey my apologies, in person, for any offence i may have caused mr. v. moghan. it has been explained to me, at great length, that sex does indeed sell and that i should be grateful that at least the management™ are making an effort to get people to the next gig (saturday june 19th at after dark). i fully appreciate the talents and skill of the creative department and will, in the future, leave decisions pertaining to artwork to the experts. however, i do reserve the right to comment in private and away from the glare of the spotlight we find ourselves under.

i very much hope that we can settle our differences in a mature and satisfactory way, without the need for lawsuits.

yours sincerely

the diva

sigh…..