i am rather shocked today. i was innocently surfing about (wishing there was some actual sea involved)  and came across several lists of stupid 999 calls and, of course, i immediately wanted to share this idiocy with my six readers. so here we go with my top ten in no particular order.

Caller: My wife’s left me two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night… and I’m a sat in the chair here and she’s out there decorating. She won’t put any food on or anything for anybody, I don’t know what….

Caller: Hello… I know this is gonna sound stupid but a pigeon’s been run over… and I’ve got no money to phone the RSPCA or anything…

Caller: I want to know what year the internet first came out I can’t remember.

Caller: Hi. I’m next to the M32, city centre… there’s an M32 city centre sign. Can you inform Animal Rescue that there’s a grey squirrel with no hazelnut trees please.”

Caller: The emergency is… I am at Lockleaze… and I would like to get home…

Caller: There’s no emergency except that there are no buses in Crow Lane…

Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I?ve never cooked one before.

Caller: I’m in Huntingdon, looking for Homebase and I can’t find it.

Caller: “I’ve dropped the remote down the back of the settee and I need someone to change the television channel.”

Caller:“I’ve had a dream that I was unconscious and I’ve just collapsed.”

while it’s generally very amusing to poke fun at the foolishness of people, i am disturbed that people with genuine emergencies often complain about not being able to get through to 999. what am i supposed to do next time there’s a spider in the bath?

2 thoughts on “silly, silly people”

  1. some people shouldn’t be granted emergency services … there’s a lot to be said for natural selection …

    ps: i can never remember my visa PIN number. i wonder if the nice people at the emergency services can help me …

  2. Very silly, silly people. Except the one calling about the squirrel. Squirrels are important.

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