so a few days before i am going to be performing in front of people, i develop a very attractive lump in my eye which makes me look slightly dodgy at best. how glamorous my life is. i am sitting here with some gunky cream slathered all over my eyeball hoping that it will have gone away before i get up on stage and scare the audience away.perhaps i should get an eyepatch ? you know what a fashion trend-setter i am. but then i am reminded of lisa “left-eye” lopes of tlc who made eye patches cool and that would just be sad

performance anxiety dreams are interesting. i don’t know if you get them but i do, usually a few nights before a gig. they usually fall into three distinct categories: being late, being lost or being naked. last night’s was a classic. the whole band had forgotten we had a sound check at four and it was coming up to eight before we remembered. there was much panic and gnashing of teeth, i had no idea what to wear and there was no way we could even get there on time for the gig because of horrendous traffic problems. so a mixture of all my favorites.

if you come tomorrow and at the last minute i burst into the venue, out of breath and naked (apart from an eyepatch), leap up on stage and play a terrible set because we didn’t do a sound check, you’ll know that dreams can come true…

apologies in advance (even though i think the naked bit might be quite fun)!

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